Feeling overwhelmed, overburdened, and underappreciated? Are you starting to feel like the caregiver to the world, who's needs are always last on the agenda? Do you daydream about being on a desert island where you can finally be free of everyone else's demands and all your mounting responsibilities?
Then you've got some boundary issues, girl.
The core of boundaries is knowing where others end and you begin. We first develop our boundaries as little children when we assert our little personalities and opinions on everything. Toddlers say "no" a hundred times a day. This is our way of saying, "Hey, I am my own person with my own needs and wants and opinions!" But, sometimes our family and the world around us consciously or unconsciously discourage us from developing these identities and boundaries. After all, good girls don't yell "no" when told to hug someone or wear cheetah boots with their school uniform. And, as a result, we lose touch with our own passions, voice, and sense of personhood. Sometimes our boundaries take a hit later in life, when a partner acts like you maintaining your own interests or friends means you don't love them.
Living with weak boundaries is exhausting and it leads to loneliness not intimacy. When we don't know ourselves and our right to voice our preferences, we become less authentic in relationships and we are less willing to take risks. When we can say "no" with guilt-free ease, we are more likely to get intimate with others because we are less likely to feel enmeshed and overwhelmed.
Weak boundaries can be strengthened. Regaining your voice can feel scary at first, but it is empowering and can even be fun. If you are ready to regain that sassy confidence of the child who knew her truth (and that she could really rock those cheetah boots), then drop me a line...