Being present while everyone around you has heads bowed is a trial, but I’m going to challenge you to do it anyway. We are staring at our phones in public now like we are standing in an elevator expectantly staring up at the lit- up floor indicators to avoid talking. Loops are being sold to us to attach to our phones to, in turn, attach to us—making our devices more of an appendage rather than a tool or accessory, no longer needing them to ring to gain attention.
Sometimes we all need a trusted, reliable, handy and simple way to shift our energy, calm us down, refocus our thoughts, and prepare us for the moments ahead. If you struggle with anxiety or panic, self-doubt, obsessive intrusive thoughts, or impulsive behavior, this technique is a great one to practice and master.
When you became a mom, you went from being an independent, self-motivated, and well rested young
lady, into an ever maturing, interdependent, selfless and often sleep-deprived woman. You may have
noticed changes in your desires, priorities, hopes, and fears among other things. So, while your baby's
growth and development may be more obvious and expected, you have no doubt been growing as well.
The road to healing and growth is never a smooth upward path with every day better than the last. Usually, it is more like a jagged-line-in-a-general-upward-direction kind of a thing. But, if you are having a tough day, don't be discouraged (or surprised), you aren't losing ground on all your hard work, it is just a part of the process. So, why do we have these setbacks and how do we handle them and turn them into another opportunity for growth?
Tis the season for New Year's Resolutions! Many of us will be making them in the next day or so, but according to statistics less than 10% actually keep them. So, rather than set yourself up for regret and disappointment, I suggest an alternative to the classic resolutions that will start your year off with love and hope rather than a new set of rules.
Is there someone in your life who you desperately want to change? A partner, friend, coworker, boss, child, or parent? If you are constantly thinking, “Ok, if I approach them this way or say it this way, then they will react the way I want” you are in the midst of a huge energy suck and a delusion. We can’t change people that way and we will waste our precious internal resources trying.
So, how do we change others?
If you feel exhausted at work, it's probably more about your mind than your body. Unless you do manual labor, most of us sit on our butts all day not exerting ourselves. Even thought sitting is not great for our bodies, we aren't exhausted after binge watching Netflix. So does work make you feel so bone tired?
The holidays can be extra stressful time when you have young kids. The sugar highs (and crashes), new toys, travel, and stressed out parents can lead to more emotional meltdowns in kids. This can leave already frazzled parents feeling frustrated and taken for granted. So, how do we help young children navigate this holiday emotional roller coaster? Here are 5 ways to help your little ones identify and manage their feelings:
Has someone you love recently had a loss? Your support can be a huge blessing and part of their healing process. But, what do you say to them? Being an active and empathetic listener is key. But, what exactly does that mean? It isn’t something that comes naturally and it takes some learning and practice. Here are four ways to be a master listener.
The holidays are filled food and lots of it! Holiday dinners with the family, Christmas baking, holiday cocktails, peppermint lattes, and an endless stream of tempting (and fattening) food choices. No wonder so many of us gain weight each year! Rather than trying to willpower your way through the holiday food-fest, change the game. Here is a tool I use to really enjoy my food, but to do it in moderation.
Do you feel like you are trying to climb up an avalanche? You cross one thing off your to-do list of responsibilities and ten more come tumbling down on top of you. We want to have it all...just preferably not all at once, crashing down on our head!
Let me give you one thing you can do in the morning to make a great step in the direction of calm...
As a mom, crappy sleep is part of the job description. Whether it is nighttime breastfeeding, pregnancy discomfort, a kid with a nightmare, waking up in a cold sweat thinking of all the thing you need to accomplish tomorrow, waiting up for your teenager to get home...there is a lot of disrupted sleep and a lot of tossing and turning. I call this Momsomnia.
Here are 6 ways you can turn your momsomnia into self-care...
Even if you are on board with the concept of affirming self-talk, most women are afraid to let go of berating themselves for fear they'll lose all motivation to get out of bed, eat a vegetable, or pretty much ever put pants on again.
But, the irony is....Fear, anxiety, and self-loathing are terrible motivators!
So here is my challenge to you. Pick a couple areas in your life where you mean-girling yourself and change up the script...
As women, we tend to be proud of our ability to juggle 10 things at once, but it can lead to increased anxiety and rob our peace. With all the demands of modern womanhood and the constant buzz of technology, multi-tasking becomes our norm.
Sister, you need a reboot! Daily. Here are 5 things you can today:
Every modern mom dreads the day someone will whip out a smart phone to capture your not-so-stellar parenting moments and make you the next internet target of mom-ridicule. In the internet-age, we are all at risk of becoming this week’s “tan mom,” “airport phone talking mom,” or “spray tan breastfeeding mom.”
Why people are so quick to pile criticism on mothers?
Are you struggling to figure out the next steps of your life? No idea what you are called to do?
As kids, we spent a lot of time daydreaming about who we would become, where we'd live, and the adventures we'd have when we grew up. Anything seemed possible. But as adults, most of us have stopped that optimistic daydreaming. We instead let our inner critic run the show. That inner critic loves to tell you all the reasons something won't work and you lose your ability to visualize your own dreams.
"How do I get unstuck?" "How do I stop dating this same type of awful guy?" "How do I find my calling?"
These are questions I hear from clients who feel stuck in life. They feel disconnected from their selves and have lost their sense of value and direction in career and relationships.
One of the most powerful things you can do to get unstuck is to finally start taking self-care seriously.
Young children are all about the here-and-now. But, as moms, we can struggle to calm our minds and be fully present with our kids. Sadly, we miss opportunities for deep interaction and bonding. Those of you familiar with 5-senses mindfulness exercises, know focusing awareness on your physical senses can snap you back into the present moment and calm your racing mind. I've adapted the 5-senses exercise for moms and thrown in a little gratitude for good measure.