Postpartum Depression - You’re Not Alone
Motherhood in today's world can be an incredibly isolating experience, making the prevalence of postpartum depression all the more concerning.
Did you know that nearly 1 in 10 women experience postpartum depression? Some studies even put this number as high as 1 in 7. And it’s no wonder - in today’s society, where our only “village” is often just our partner, where we tend to live far away from extended family, where much of our social support network exists from a distance through social media, being a new mother is increasingly becoming a lonely and difficult experience.
Yet there is no room for compassion or slowing down. Today’s moms operate under more pressure than ever before, while simultaneously having less experience with parenthood than at any other time in history. We no longer have easy access to the wisdom and support of our sisters, mothers, aunts, and grandmothers. We no longer help babysit our cousins or younger siblings when we’re younger - for many new moms, their newborn is the first time they’ve ever held a baby, not to mention change a diaper. At the same time, while we’re all trying to suddenly learn a whole new set of skills overnight with zero experience, society expects us to be perfect at it from the get-go. Why don’t you just magically know how to breastfeed? Why can’t you read every one of your newborn’s cries and respond appropriately as soon as they pop out of you? Why haven’t you experienced this earth-shattering, transcendent, pseudo-Second-Coming-esque transformation of your entire being the instant you laid eyes on your child?
The truth of the matter is that nobody knows how to be a parent without experience and education.* Imagine being told to operate a construction crane or recite a full Shakespearean monologue without any classes, training, or practice. That is what new mothers today are being expected to do. Is it any wonder why so many of us struggle with depression, shame, guilt, and feelings of failure?
The good news is that you’re not alone. You are not failing as a mother. You are not the world’s worst parent. Therapy can help you find compassion for yourself, improve your relationship with your family and your child, and step away from the “inner critic” that insists you have to be perfect - instead of moving into being human and enough. If you’re struggling with postpartum depression and you don’t have anyone to turn to, reach out to us for a free consultation today. Our expert therapists can help guide you through your journey into motherhood, dispelling myths, encouraging empowerment, and helping you be the best mother you can be, whatever that happens to look like.
This goes for non-birthing parents as well. Recent research has illuminated how common it is for fathers, non-birthing partners, and even grandparents and in-laws to also develop symptoms of postpartum depression. If this is something that you are struggling with, connect with one of our therapists today. PPD is real, whether you gave birth or not.
Postpartum Anxiety - Yes, It’s a Thing
Some anxiety as a new parent is normal. We love our children so deeply, and newborns especially seem so tiny and fragile - feeling at least somewhat nervous about their well-being is totally expected. It’s when the anxiety gets so bad it interferes with our ability to live our lives that things become problematic.
It’s when you have to get up every ten minutes at night to check that your baby is still breathing.
It’s when you refuse to leave the house for any reason, even to just go outside to get the mail, because you’re afraid someone will try to kidnap your child.
It’s when you carry your baby through a patch of sunlight coming through the window, and you find yourself unable to stop worrying about damage to their eyes or skin cancer for days afterward.
If any of this sounds familiar, you may have postpartum anxiety.
PPA, while not new, has been on the rise lately. A lot of this is thanks to social media - one simple tap of your finger can now unlock a flood of TikTok videos about babies dying or getting seriously hurt. Not to mention all the products being marketed out there as ways to protect our children from an endless list of catastrophes, many of which we weren’t aware of before we saw that targeted ad.
In the face of all this noise about your baby facing certain disasters, is it any wonder so many new parents see the world as a dangerous place and become intensely anxious about keeping their children safe?
The good news is that you don’t have to keep living with this. Therapy can be very helpful for coping with PPA, and can teach you tools and techniques to calm your body and mind and help you be more present in this new stage of your life. If this sounds like something you could benefit from, get in touch with us to schedule a free consultation - our therapists would be happy to help you get back to what you want most: enjoying time with your new bundle of joy.
Relationship Struggles Postpartum - It’s Not (Always) Hormones
Most couples report the lowest levels of relationship satisfaction during the year following the birth of their first child. You’re both sleep-deprived, you don’t know what you’re doing, resentment is building and you seem to be at each other’s throats all the time. Does that mean your relationship was always doomed to failure?
Not necessarily. The postpartum hormonal shifts experienced by all parents - yes, including fathers and non-birthing parents - can make emotions run high and shorten everyone’s tempers. That means some of the conflicts and difficulties should be resolved with time. Simultaneously, many couples simply never did the work beforehand to manage expectations, assign roles, and otherwise plan out how to navigate new parenthood as a team. If this describes you and your partner, then therapy may be beneficial for you.
Your therapist can help you not only better plan out how to go about sharing the responsibilities of parenting, but also encourage positive and respectful communication and setting fair expectations. Therapy can also help you and your partner reconnect not just as new parents but as people - inextricably different thanks to having a child, but also still very much the same.
If you and your partner are struggling in your relationship after having a child, connect with us for a free consultation today. Working together to raise your child requires harmony, open communication, and mutual respect - let us help you determine how to get there together.
f you want to learn more about how therapy can help you with Postpartum Depression, book a free consultation with Thrive Psychology Group. We offer in-person therapy in California and New York, as well as online therapy in more than 42 states.